37 Chapter Thirty Six / Aluminum Baseball Bat Air Conditioning

Jay Branch pulled over right after Flagstaff, Arizona at one of his favorite types of shady little gas stations on the highway of life to fuel up the Bronco so he wouldn’t need gas when he got to Topock and to unload the five gallons of fire water that now resided in his bladder. Inside the old store he found something that he had countless reasons to purchase; an aluminum baseball bat that seemed to him to be a little heavier than the ones he had remembered from his ten seconds in a previous life when he had tried to be a sporty young lad. He bought the bat and a large bottle of Gatorade to help replenish him because he was feeling dehydrated from the booze and the heat, a cold gallon jug of water that he would drink after downing the Gatorade and a bag of ice. He put another sixty dollars’ worth of gas in the beast and then replaced the nozzle into the pump. He opened the bag of ice just a little and put one of the remaining energy drinks from the backpack inside of the ice and then placed the cold gallon of water on top of the bag, the ice was already starting to melt and form a small pool of water on the floorboard of the Bronco but it didn’t matter to Jay, the bag would be thrown out the window shortly. He just needed it for long enough to keep his water from getting hot and to help the energy drink that would follow to be cold in time to make a final needed drink before entering Topock. He took the bat and he walked to the back of the Bronco and then placed the bat between his legs like he had seen ball players do on TV and then spit in his hands and picked the bat back up. He took a few practice swings into the air taking notice that there was a complete douchebag in a convertible BMW staring him down as if he was daring him to do it. And with that he took a hard swing for the fences exploding the Broncos back window all over the inside and outside of the beast. Then thrusting it back and forth to jab and poke the remaining pieces of glass making sure to clear the entire opening. He looked for a minute at the passenger side window and thought of how that would really open up the air flow for him but then for a second he pictured Grace sitting in the passenger seat on the way back and he didn’t want her to be exposed to the elements if it rained and then he smiled and felt that he would see her in that seat soon.

“Hey asshole, you gonna clean that up?” The douchebag in the BMW was now out of his car and coming right at Jay.

“Yeah, sure I will.” Jay hadn’t even considered it, he just knew he wanted some airflow in the Bronco but he saw no reason why he wouldn’t do it. He looked around for a big push broom or something of its type.

“Well get to work then bitch!” The douchebag was now standing only a few feet from Jay and he seemed to be doing the tired old trick of puffing his chest out at Jay like all shit for brains morons would do when looking for a fight. Jay looked around for a reason for the super angry response from his new friend; usually when a major league asshole like this was going ape-shit for no reason he was trying to impress his fellow D-Bags or an even more idiotic reason would be to impress a girl that was usually even more turned off by a display of world class douchery than by a bag full of dog shit. But he saw neither and just looked at the asshole with a questioning look.

“What are you a fucking retard?” Jay’s lack of reaction to his impressive display of plumage was enraging the angry ape man and for obvious reasons this was the most humorous thing that Jay had ever seen. He let out a hardy laugh and pointed with his free hand at the man and then laughed harder as if he was mocking someone who was standing in a crowded room with their pants down exposing their shining example of unimpressive manhood.

“I’M GOING TO FUCKING………….” The screaming temper tantrum of the douchebag was cut quickly short by the well placed swing of Jay’s bat striking him at the top of his left arm. When the bat connected, it made a very crisp “ping” sound which also made Jay laugh for a second, this time more like a little kid giggling at a clown taking a pratfall. Quickly, sitting back on his ass on the gas station concrete the Under Amour polo shirt clad clown looked utterly befuddled and lost in his own confused space between his ears.

“Thinking back, was it a good idea to come full force at an asshole with a baseball bat that doesn’t mind destroying his own shit?” Jay asked him while smiling ear to ear. The man-monkey just sat there not making a sound and now Jay found that he wanted to over react, he wanted to scream and threaten the crumpled bully on the ground, kick him when he was down so to speak, but he was just sitting there probably part injured from the blow and part in a state of shock from the unseen coming action. Jay put his foot on his chest and pushed him on to his back and that finally knocked him out of his daze. He scuffled back quickly and got to his feet and back to his convertible as fast as he could and Jay could hear as he grinded every gear on the German stick shift as he reversed his way out of the gas station. The experience left Jay wanting for more, he wondered if this was the reason so many jocks in high school would just go from one weird kid to the next terrorizing them. It was like some sort of sick buzz, a rush of pure adrenalinto humiliate and demoralize another person. Jay could at least right now see that what he had done was necessary to thwart violence from an obvious enemy and what he had done had nothing to do with being like a bully, but now he wanted more blood and luckily for him there was another enemy that he could punish and destroy with impunity. He looked around there and there was only one other person in the entire parking lot, an old Mexican man was sitting on a lawn chair out beside the front door and Jay thought for a moment and could not remember the man being there before he hit the douche. The old man tipped his old filthy trucker hat to Jay and took a big swig of an orange soda in a glass bottle like it was an ad for something he would have seen when he was a child. Jay jumped back into the Bronco tossing the bat in front of the passenger seat and then grabbed the sweat covered Gatorade and took a rewarding swig feeling like a major leaguer after a bases loaded home run. He threw the beast into drive and pulled back out onto the interstate one more time finding that his new automotive modification had accomplished the desired effect working the air now as a way to pull the heat from him instead of simply swirling the heat around him.


simple man Copyright © by jshugahi. All Rights Reserved.

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